We will not allow ourselves to have more than we think we deserve, especially subconsciously. 

And if we do end up getting more than we believe we are worthy of, then we will send it away, (over spend our money, exhaust our health, or blow-up our relationships). 

There’s a Happiness Set-Point where our subconscious beliefs limit us around money, happiness, love, self-appreciation, connection, etc. that we’ll allow ourselves to have.

These internal subconscious beliefs are there to protect us. They are well-meaning bumper car rails if you will, and for good intention. Yet we tend to spend a lot of our lives crashing into these rails head-on trying to get out into the larger world for a more expansive experience of love, money, self expression, creativity, and vitality. 

I first experienced this when I was asked the question “How good can you stand it?” How good can you stand your life getting before you feel the need to shut it down, and your insides start to constrict in anxiety or overwhelm? 

I could feel my optimism smash into that guard rail to happiness…”Ohhhh no! I thought I could have it all!” 

And part of me did believe that, and another part did not. See we all have contradictory beliefs about ourselves, the world and what we deserve. It’s just a matter of which of these parts has the most voting power? 

The part of me that was in charge of keeping me safe was my first experience of this. If I was too successful, too happy, too shiny in one way or another I’d become a target and others would want to take me down. In my experience being a target was never a safe place, hence the “limit Regina’s success” bumper rail was installed

A second bumper rail came from my family mantra of “you have to work hard to be successful.” I come from 5 generations of farmers, and started working at age 6 in the fields. Working hard was how I deserved any good fortune and kept my belonging to my family. This was abundantly clear when I’d get a windfall of money, it felt like it came too easily, so I had to spend it away quickly. 

Another bumper rail stemmed from my belief that I didn’t  deserve to have what I wanted. “Who am I to have it better than my family? Who am I to have it easier than my ancestors who struggled & sacrificed so much?” 
After sitting with that question of “How good can you stand it?” I saw how hard I worked to prove that I was worthy enough to have the things I most desired: love & connection, success, good health & happiness.

My level of self worth was having me work harder to feel worthy, and it wasn’t allowing me to have what I wanted…this really boxed in my options for abundance and happiness. 

I knew there had to be a better way, that was not only easier but more fun! 

I’d been reading self-help books since I was a teenager, coaching friends starting in college, worked on staff at Landmark Education, led seminars for Alison Armstrong, got a Master’s Degree in Change Management, became a Master Transformational-NLP practitioner and a certified Family Systems (Constellations) facilitator to find the inner peace and trust that I deeply craved.

During this journey, I realized there’s a foundational step that most modalities miss when they talk about changing your mindset. They approach these guard rails thinking that with enough willpower or an insight from a podcast or doing daily mantras these well-intended guard rails with shift. 

Yet these are top tier activities that work best once you’ve removed the childhood guard rails. When you have a majority of your parts voting for the same positive experiences, instead of at odds with each other, then these top tier activities can have more impact. 

Something to note: our guard rails get installed before we celebrate our 6th birthday. In the first 6 years of life (if not much sooner), we decide how much we deserve, how safe we are, how much love we are worthy of and how much space we can take up in the world….all fundamental factors to our self worth. 

If your childhood had upsets, was unstable or not what you preferred, then there are most likely safety locks on your ability to flourish with ease. And when we get too close to those safety locks the alarm bells go off (overwhelm, lack of clarity, struggle, anxiety, frustration, self sabotage, debt, etc.), calling us back to safety.

Revising these at the conscious level was never going to reach those safety guard rails of our wounded inner child, who’s crouched in the deep corner of our past. 

If you want to take the bumper car rails off and drive outside the lines, then it’s time to move the voting power over to what your adult, conscious self wants now in her life, versus what that 3 year old decided was safe to have. 

What if you could use your Self Worth for manifesting what you want, instead of having it create more struggle?

First for foundational support, you want to discover what that younger version of you decided about her deserving of love, worth, safety, and place in the world. 

Secondly for structural alignment notice how that previous, foundational decision created patterns and themes of upset, struggle, and anxiety, etc as an adult. This is when bringing in new resources for that younger self to support shifting the limiting beliefs - guard rails - is incredibly helpful. 

Lastly, focusing on what you want and how it’s manifesting in the world helps to integrate the shifts.  It’s imperative to work with the part of your brain that resists change in a way that it won’t reject the changes or the new beliefs you are installing. 

Expanding out the guard rails or removing the child safety locks in this way retrofits your foundational beliefs for who you are, allowing you to know the truth of who you are. 

Your Worth is Immeasurable and Eternal. You deserve to embody this. It is your Birthright. It’s your Superpower.